philosophical sexts

cliches in themselves
when I met you I was high on anphetmamines
which clouded my judgment I think
you said I was a hypocrite and we got drunk together more times than I have with anyone but myself
at the moment I wasn’t with myself
but I couldn’t recognize that or maybe let myself
the time of realizing how I felt was triggered by the way you looked at me
 it wasn’t good and my stomach truly churned
I know we hardly touched but I don’t fall asleep next to just anyone and it was all I could manage because I locked myself up and I was unaware or unable to see
that you wanted me
this isn’t the whole story which I’ve never really asked you about
I was in such a cracked place and I stepped to the side so you and my best friend could fuck while I stayed a virgin
I don’t know if you guys were an excuse for me to deny myself of if the denial was second nature at that point
two nights ago I finally made a move on you and kissed you in a dream
this morning I had a nightmare that I can’t remember but I woke up crying

i wanna give you head

parents make their children doormats and their children become doors
have you asked yourself what is and what isn’t that allures
you don’t need to take responsibility for other peoples perceptions of you
it will wreck you

when was your latest brain contusion
you sound deluded in paranoid confusion
unwelcome behaviors
simultaneous to overderachieveors  

its pretty thinking of your hatred
insufficiently or sufficiently satiated?
its pretty, unidentified as real
excessive parodical meal

absolute anger
blind frustration
time lapse castration
unmitigated sadness
peters rage
with all hunger gone
left to disgrace

sad and lustful

like pale ghosts hoping to come back life so

they can fuck each other 

again

cum over and cum 

here